My emotions are like a train wreck. Tonight I couldn't stop crying. Like for every little thing, I started tearing up. I'm on my period so I thought maybe it was because of my hormones. But I've never gotten this emotional during that time. I'm pretty sure that its because I'm leaving and having to say bye in three days. OMG. I have no idea what I'm going to do. I'm having a party at my house on Wednesday night as a "going away to college and last summer thing". I have no idea how I'm going to be able to cope with saying bye. And the worst thing is that I absolutely hate letting people see me cry. One, because under my eyes gets all red and splotchy and its not attractive at all. And two, because it makes me feel weak with no control. My good friend Abran told me today that I shouldn't say "good bye" because I'm not really leaving everyone. I mean I'm moving out of town and going to college, but it's more like a "see ya later" kinda thing.
For instance, tonight me and Jaime were just sitting there at my house watching his anime shows on my laptop. He always picks at me and I know hes kidding so normally it doesn't bother me. But omg tonight I got all emotional and basically got all butt hurt for no apparent reason. And then my eyes would start tearing up. You know what I think about crying when I don't want to, its GAY. And then when I dropped him off at his house we were saying bye. And it was just like "bye" as in "i'll see you tomorrow" and I started bawling. Ugh it's almost uncontrollable. I'm a complete emotional wreck. If I'm crying now I have no idea how I'm going to be able to say "bye" to him. And especially since the last time I will see him for a while will be after his football scrimmage on Thursday. Gahh, isn't that embarrassing, crying in front of all the guys.
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